Stay-at-Home Mom's Manifesto

I am a stay at home mom, wife, active participant in my church, student, and work about 8 to 12 hours a month as a RN.  I often hear how being a "Stay-at-Home" mom is a privilege.  I want to officially disagree with this.  I could potentially double our household income by going back to full-time work.  But I choose, instead, to stay home.  I could work and have some extra money and take my family out to eat.  Instead I use an hour or more searching on-line and in cook books for easy and inexpensive meals to cook at home.  If I had that extra money I would just go to the grocery store and buy what I needed right off the shelf.  However, I spend an undetermined amount of time cutting coupons (given to me by my wonderful neighbors) and shopping for the coupon items when they are put on sale.  Not to mention preparing fresh parsley for drying and freezing or buying my pecans whole and on sale, bringing them home, chopping, and storing for freshness.  These things are done and NO ONE notices.  As Halloween magazines show up in the mail, my kids L-O-V-E telling me what they want me to buy for their costumes this year.  If I were to buy them what they wanted, I might get a "Thank you, mom!"  but I made their costumes this year to pinch those pennies and after spending hours on my little girl's cape of feathers for her, cute as ever, owl costume, she puts it on and breaks into immediate tears saying "I don't like it." And my youngest son (who tries very hard to please me) just keeps wanting to see the progress I am making with his costume but brings me one of those dreaded magazines and says "Mom, next year, if we start saving money now, do you think we can buy this costume for me?".  While my oldest son, who would be having his last Halloween anyway, has already thrown in the towel with disgust saying that he would rather not go trick-or-treating, for the very last time, than to wear a "lame costume".  What about when a large household appliance breaks and I call around to see if it can be repaired because we really cannot afford anything new.  When I am told by three different professionals that it would be best to just buy a new one instead, we call around to all the stores to see if they have anything similar to what I want in their "scratch and dent" section and consider how many loads I might take at one time to the laundry mat in the mean time.  And then, there are those times when my husband comes home and innocently asks "So, what did you do today?" and I roll my eyes and walk the other way.  Sure, I know that so many of the things I do will go unnoticed.  That's just part of the job description.  I am not whining.  There are the wonderful aspects to it as well.  I just want to make my point........this choice of mine, to stay at home for my family, is not a privilege.  It is a sacrifice worth making!   

Eden Rose turns 5!!

 

Ede turns 5 today!  She got her new birthday outfit from Grandmother and Grandfather.  She loves it, and loved posing for the camera too!  She is such a ham.  Ede's birthday tradition is having a water gun fight.  We are having a party for her in Gaffney next week and will have a big family water fight.  Tonight we are going to have birthday cake, open one gift, and go roller skating.  She is excited and keeps asking when daddy is coming home so we can get on with the festivities.

Happy Birthday Ede Bird!  We love you!

Happy Easter!!

 

Thank you Easter Bunny!!  Bak!  Bak!

 

 

Levi, Ben and Ede posed for a picture outside before getting in the car.

 

 

We love traditions here at our house.  A new Easter tradition...... Easter Egg Eclairs.  Yummy!

 

The whole family.  All dressed and ready for church.

Benjamin is 6 years old!

 

Happy Birthday Ben!

Ben turns 6 years old today.  He is the only one of the three that has a birthday during the school year.  So last night I let him choose what he wanted for breakfast.  He kept it simple and chose eggs and bacon, which is what they have on a regular basis.  Haha!  Then we all came into the living room and he opened one present.  He is on a Ninja Turtle kick and picked the present from his Grandmother and Grandfather that was in the shape of something he had asked for.  He was right!  He got the Shellraiser that he wanted.  Thanks Grandmother and Grandfather!!  I am taking cupcakes to his classroom this afternoon.  He should have a good day, even if he had to go to school.  We will have a family party this weekend and we will go on the 18th to the circus, which is Ben's birthday tradition.  Sounds like he gets a birthmonth instead of a birthday.  Haha!

Ava Kaye Blanton

 

 

January 7, 2006

To my first baby girl:

  I have accepted that some questions will not be answered for me in my life, here on earth.  I have accepted that my family appears smaller to everyone than it really is.  I have accepted that I will have to wait to hold you again.  I have accepted that there will be constant reminders of you not here with me.  I have accepted that my life did not end with yours.  And until my time here on earth is done, you should know that I think of you always, I speak of you often, and I will love you forever.

  

Happy New Year and Happy 14th Anniversary!

From our family to yours.......

Happy New Year!!!

 

Est. January 2, 1999 



And from me to Jeff..........

Happy 14th Anniversary!!

You accept me with all my flaws.  You make me strong when I feel weak.  You are my best friend.

I love you!!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from the Blanton Family!

 

We have had an interesting couple of months.  We have been able to overcome some personal struggles.  Nothing so huge that anyone should worry.  But I am able to see how important my family is to me and how blessed I am with the love and patience we are able to share with each other.  And the balance each person brings to our family is wonderful!

We had a house full for Thanksgiving!  It was so much fun to see Jeremy, Ranee and their girls.  Mom and Manfred were here too and are such a huge help while they are here.

We are more than ready for Christmas.  Bobby the elf has been here since December 1st.  The house is all decorated.....inside and OUT (Thanks Jeff!).  The kids are counting their presents under the tree.  We keep it pretty modest with the gifts.  The kids are always very happy with what they receive.  We went to Myrtle Beach State Park and got the picture made.  They had games to play for the kids and we bought one ticket each for the cake walk and with the odds on our side......WE WON!!  We won fresh baked pastries from Tofino's and decided to go there for lunch afterwords.  It was a fun day!

We wish Everyone a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Back to School!

 This morning on the way out of the door.  Benjamin is not used to eating on a schedule so he had to finish his breakfast in the car.  Ben was so happy to be dressed just like his brother!

 I love the look on his face.  Benjamin is standing beside his book bag hanging on his hook.  He made sure that I didn't hang it there, he had to do it.  He is such a big boy!

He went straight to his seat.  He still wanted to kiss and hug me before I left.  At least he isn't too big to still show his mother some affection.  Levi would not let me take any pictures of him in his class.  Ede cried because she wanted to go to school too!  It didn't take her long to get over it though.  I will be staying at home this year and starting more classes on-line so we are all excited about the new schedules ahead of us.

 

P.S.  I didn't give Levi his medication all summer and since this past May (3 months ago) he has grown half an inch and gained 12 pounds!!  You should see him standing beside his classmates.....he is HUGE!



New Flooring

My mom and Manfred came to take the kids on a "Stay-cation" so that Jeff and I could spend the weekend working on the floors.  They all stayed at Ocean Lakes Campground and had a very good time with their Grandma and Grandpa!

Ice Cream, games, swimming and the park!

We had some great friends come over and help with the heavy lifting and back breaking jobs of getting out our furniture, the old carpet and the tack strips that held down the carpet.  Thanks to Jennie and Tyson!  It was a huge help.

I kinda-sorta flaked out at the beginning and forgot to take the "Before Pictures".  So the WOW factor will be missing.  Take my word for it.......the carpet was pretty bad.  So here are the pictures of the living room after the furniture and carpet had already been moved.

And a picture of Jeff with the work in progress.  I also decided to paint the wall on the left side of this picture which is a very high wall and we put some wide bead vinyl Wainscot in the area where the clock is.

And here are some pictures of the final product with most of the furniture back in it's place.

AND

The area that now has the Wainscot has been a challenge for us to figure out what to do with it.  But I have had this in mind for a little while now and we are so happy with the way it turned out!  The living room now has all the furniture back in it and we have an area rug in front of the couch with the coffee table back in place.  We love the new flooring and are already trying to prioritize our project for next year.  :o)

Happy Easter!!

Before we went to church Easter Morning. Benjamin always closes his eyes as he says "Cheese". I just forget to not have them say it. :o)
Benjamin and his basket from the Easter Bunny.

Sorry for the half naked picture. Levi doesn't wear his shirt at night anymore. But he was happy with his basket too.

And this is Ede with what I call her "crazy hair". It really does look like this when she wakes up in the morning.

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter!!

A.D.D.

Levi Van Blanton

Ever since Levi was born he has been a challenge for me. He was my first child so everything was new for Jeff and I anyway. I struggled for the longest time to see the challenges he presented for us as parents as a good thing. But, a challenge IS good. As an infant he would not go to sleep in public, he loved to lay and look at his mobile but still slept very well (at first). As he got a little older he started showing signs of Asthma but doctors were so hesitant to treat him for it because he was so young. When he ended up hospitalized we started treatment regularly. As a toddler he didn't pitch your expected temper tantrum......he learned how to make himself throw-up. First he would gag himself with his finger but got to where he could just start to cry and vomit. He has always had a lot of energy. My mom used to wrestle with him just so she could get him in her arms long enough to give him a little squeeze. We sent him to Kindergarten and we constantly received letters on Levi's behavior. In short, he has no impulse control. He would chunk something across the room and then look at you like "Oops!" But he has also had such a big heart. He wants to please us and make us laugh and smile. His sense of humor has always been advanced for his age. And S-M-A-R-T! He is a smart little guy.

I had suspected A.D.D. for a long time but had already developed the mind-set that it was over diagnosed and could be dealt with if we were consistent with discipline. We have always been very strict with Levi. At one time he was waking up during the night or playing all night with his toys so we had only his mattress in his room and turned the lock around on his door to lock him in his room. Find your front door wide open at 6am with your son playing in the front yard a couple of times or find that all the junk food wrappers are under his bed from one night.....you'll turn his lock around too. :o)

Our solution, I would take control. We decided to home school him. We love home school but I found myself wanting to return to school myself and go back to work. Levi did very well in home school. He excels in one-on-one instruction but it became obvious that if he was to succeed in a group setting he needed some medication. We put him on medicine for ADD and he went back to a charter school for 2nd grade. He did very well! It was a small class and his teacher knew him well and was able to give him the special one-on-one attention when he needed it. But I hated putting him on the medicine. He went from being my energetic, smart-alec kid to just wanting to sit around the house and watch tv all day. So I didn't give him the medicine on the weekend or during the summer.

This year, 3rd grade it became obvious that something wasn't working anymore. His grades, his mood swings and attitude were pretty bad. I was thinking about home school again and when we made it a sincerely prayerful decision Jeff and I felt like we didn't have enough information to make a good decision. We had a conference with his school and took Levi back to the doctor where a new medication was prescribed. This medicine is new on the market. Let me tell you, he is my child again! He is mostly smiles, grades are good again, he is active, he has gained weight and has grown in inches! He is able to self-correct BEFORE he does something. And I realized that if he had seizures, I would not withhold that medication. It is hard to come to the realization that something you can't see should be medicated. He is a different child when he is not on medication. We still have to be strict with him discipline wise but "1-2-3 Magic" helped with that a long time ago. I wonder if I did some damage those years that I was in denial with yelling at him and punishing him for things that he literally could not control because of a chemical imbalance in his brain. Did I hurt his self-image? Do I have time to repair it?

I don't know. But Levi has helped me to become a more patient, compassionate and think out-side the box person. He may be a challenge for me at times but that challenge has been a blessing to me. He does make me smile, laugh and stick to my word (because he doesn't forget a thing). I will always need self improvement, it is a constant progression but let me tell you, Levi has helped me to become a little bit better all on his own.

MARCH!!!!

So far March has been quite eventful for us. We have celebrated two birthdays and enjoyed our first experience in the Pinewood Derby with Levi. Here are some pictures of the fun times we have had this month.Levi's is the red, white and blue car. His number was 50. My little Levi is such a patriot!

Get ready! Get set! GO!!

Levi placed 2nd overall in the local races. He went to the district race and we learned that we are mere amateurs in the Pinewood Derby arena. :o)
Ben and Ede were very good supporters for their big brother.


Benjamin's Birthday!!
We went to the circus after the presents, cake and ice cream to celebrate Ben's 5th birthday!

Does this look like a kid that is enjoying what he is seeing, or what? :o)

Five candles and he blew them all out on the first try.

He was happy with his gifts. I am not sure why he decided to give such a silly smile, but he did it in all the pictures.

It has been a fun and exciting month so far, and we are only half way thru it!

Bad parenting??

I'm thinking that maybe I was not clear enough when I said "It's time to go to sleep". She has to have it her way.......just a little bit. I let her stay there too. I couldn't bring myself to wake her up just to put her in her bed. :o)

In Loving Memory of Ava Kaye Blanton

Ava's pinwheel in the "Baby Lost Mother's Day" memory garden.Each family member got to put a small message inside their balloon and we all launched them at the same time. Ede, Ben and Levi in the center of the garden. Ede, Levi and Ben at Ava's grave site. We always visit when we go to Gaffney. It is important to me that they know who Ava is. I see graveyards so differently now......I see them when Christ comes again and the tears of JOY that will be shed as we reunite with our loved ones.

I am a different person because of Ava. I have been at the cross-roads where I had to make the decision to walk further away from my relationship with my Heavenly Father or to walk closer. I remember contemplating both options. I made my decision and even though some nights my prayers consisted simply of getting on my knees and saying "I know you are there but I am angry and I don't want to talk right now." I would linger on my knees and feel the deepest sorrow and despair turn to comfort and peace. I would get up from the floor to purposely push the good feelings away. I struggled with letting go of my pain because it was the only thing I had left of her. I never got to bring her home to create any kind of memory to hold onto. I was afraid that if I had no heart ache, that meant I had let go of the love I have for her. I know now, that it is not true. I will always feel somewhat of a void in my life and when I read my journal and remember my short time with Ava in my arms I know that it will always bring tears to my eyes and ache in my heart. I know that I will always feel the sting in my heart every time I see my children playing together and know that my family is "minus one". But Ava brought me to the place where some people never have the privilege to go. She took me to the place where everything I had ever been taught, everything that I thought I knew about God and the Plan of Salvation was tested and now when I say that I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is real and exists in it's entirety here on earth today......I mean it. Ava, you are a real and impressionable person in my life. I love you and cannot wait to hold you again.

Est. January 2, 1999

Jeff and I have been married for 13 years! It has been quite the adventure. We have had our ups and downs as I'm sure most couples do. We have been able to grow stronger as we worked thru the troubled times. Jeff is my rock. He is everything I could have ever wanted in a husband and father of my children. We have been blessed with four children.....Levi, Ava, Benjamin and Eden Rose. We are a happy family and I am happy to celebrate another year with the union that started it all!

Merry Christmas!!

Levi and his gifts from family and from Santa!
Benjamin with all his gifts. Eden Rose and all her gifts. Santa Claus at our church Christmas party with Ben. And with Levi. And with Ede.

We have had fun making our own family traditions in the last few years. Our own traditions include: Eating Chinese take out for supper on Christmas Eve, setting out milk and cookies for Santa, putting a magic key outside for Santa to use to get inside (since we don't have a chimney), putting on our special Christmas PJ's, reading the book T'was the Night Before Christmas and a story of the birth of Jesus called Room for A Little One. It was an interesting turn of events on Christmas Eve this year. Benjamin ended up getting a really bad cough and congestion so I was up until 11pm giving him respiratory treatments, cough medicine, Vick's vaporub and about a half hour of sitting bundled up outside for the cold night air to help calm his lungs. All of this left Jeff on his own for all things that "require assembly". :o) But thank goodness, Christmas morning didn't come as early as it did last year. The boys woke up first at 6:00 this morning which woke me and Jeff up. We all went into Ede's room to get her out of bed. She started to whine a little but was interrupted with "Santa has come and brought you some presents". She quickly hopped out of bed to see what she had. They all had fun opening up all their gifts from family and friends. We were supposed to go to church this morning but Ben still has a constant cough and they all are sniffing and sneezing. We are blessed with family and friends who we love dearly. And from our family to yours as we think of you today.........Merry Christmas and WE LOVE YOU ALL!!

Guess what we did today.......

We went to a Town Hall with Mitt Romney! So I found out the night before that Mitt Romney was holding a Town Hall at the college campus near Levi's school. I wanted to go but could not find a last minute baby-sitter for my kids. Levi also wanted to go. I decided to brave the elements and take all 3 kids with me. We started at the back of a much smaller room than I had envisioned. Once they opened up the floor to questions, I actually knew one of the guys holding one of the microphones, I pressed my way forward with the kids to ask my question....."With the two political parties being so diametrically opposed in their views of the roll of government.....How would you compromise while standing firm on the principle of small government?" He gave a good but political answer. :o) When he was finished I pressed my way thru the crowd with the kids. Mitt signed my pocket Constitution and took a second to chat with me and take a picture with Levi. He asked Benjamin to join them but Ben did not want to go. I had to bribe Levi for the picture in the first place. When I told him I would pay him $5 he tried to up the anny to $11 after the picture was taken. And as he walked away from taking the picture "You owe me money!" He hasn't actually held me to it yet. I pointed out that he just took a picture with someone who might be the next President of the United States. Hopefully that will satisfy him. I hope they will all remember this experience for the rest of their lives.....I will.